Published, and feeling a little depressed about it

I’ve been writing Mackerel Sky for more than two decades. (I will post the original idea one day soon.) I’ve loved writing it, and I just wrote and wrote and wrote. I had an end in mind, but then I’d write some more and another ‘book’ would end up being created. I’ve probably got around 350,000 total words written for this big long saga.

But today, Mackerel Sky is officially published (via Amazon for Kindle; later aiming for ePub/POD via IngramSpark) and I don’t really know how to feel about it. I’m over the moon, of course, because this is the outcome I wanted for this novel. But a wee bit depressed too that it’s over. It’s been such a huge part of my life that I feel like I’ve lost a little something, and am not even sure at the moment that I can read the story again. That, in itself, makes me more depressed.

But… I’m still writing the sequel. Have got a good two-thirds to write or re-write on that, and I’m aiming for that to be published early next April. So it means I don’t have to say good bye to the characters just yet. And, let’s be honest, I’ll still be writing about them long after even that sequel’s published. So I shouldn’t be feeling depressed at all – after all, I’m published and I’m still writing.

It’s a strange feeling.

Today I saw the mock-up of what the POD cover will look like, and seeing all the trim lines and the barcode put a spark of excitement back in me. I wonder if I’m feeling a little ho-hum about publishing because I don’t have the physical book yet. Maybe I won’t feel like I’m really published until I get that in my hands.

Anyway, wanted to mark today (27 June) because it’s a huge, huge day. And, it’s also the main character’s birthday. Happy birthday, Owen. Love you.